January
a poem
Winter still
in this neverending season
No matter how cold I keep the bedroom, I sweat all night
dreams toss me round and back
I cannot remember the last baseball season
or meal with friends
no foray into another state to hike or sun
I am sorry for the death and damage that the year begat
but I love the life grown from the inside of me
outward into the light
becoming last year who I wanted to be,
steadfast in a crashing wind
unto myself, my own bulwark
Cut my job or extend it;
the new house can fall through, or I will buy it,
let me alone or send me a more-than-half-heart
of a man.
I am unshakeable
Old myriads of loss and violation
turned empty creases into canyons
I fell into,
got another view of the rocks and soft places
My dog watches me cook, smelling the spiced oil, hoping for a bite
We are becoming more patient with one another
